losing my lady like stature.

flippin' and freakin' have been the most used words in my vocabulary lately.  

as my sisters were growing up, (and as i was  a teen), i always thought and taught.."speak as a lady would speak...think like a lady would think."

when an uproar of pain hits your life...

"lady" flies out the window.


life is hard.

loss sucks...i mean stinks....

living through aftermath is crap.  

i'm here. 

i know.

i feel you.

you, who have lost their husband with two young babies left to raise....

you, who are a grandma, who is my age, and is faced with many physical challenges to deal with...

me...with issues, i've left unsaid, only to deal and pray for in my heart...


wednesday morning, i started out on " a mission" to help my london, and her "team" raise money for their mission trip to jamaica through Won By One. 

we were immediately overwhelmed with donations, bags and tasks to go through and a deadline to meet.  

our family, and church family helped greatly. 

i learned a few things:

your heart comes out when you are stressed.

laughing helps everything. 

when jesus is in control, you cannot lose. 

planning, and diligence is a rare and gifted trait. 

children with loving, giving, willing spirits are a gift, only to be used in greater ways for years to come. 

from wed-sat....we were swamped.  
our mission team raised enough money for 3 trips...Thank You, to dubois donators, buyers, and to jesus!

but i also learned, AGAIN, that reward does not come easy. 

because of many reasons, my body, physically is in shambles. 

but i worked my tail off, wed - saturday at that sale, with 4 shoots (including a wedding) in between. 

my arms, wrists, hands, fingers, and feet are still swollen. 

the pain is unreal. 

and i am stil able work, to be dedicated to it, and to complete it. 

what did i learn?

when you believe in something...you do it. 

when you can, and the pain is there....you push through it. 

when you aren't strong enough, YES you are. 

and when hope seems lost, HOPE is still there. 

and lastly, when you feel alone, without a smile in sight, look to those around you.

those who love you unconditionally. 

through their love and life and faith in jesus, they will bring hope, laughter, endurance and will stick by you through and through for results...

to my "family"...

i love you. 

don't you stray far from me.  

i flippin' need and freaking love you all!!