the heart travelings of a God seeker….

whew!

i don't think my head has stopped spinning yet. 

correction, i know it hasn't.

there's nothing in the world like announcing that so many things will be changing, and proclaiming my heart's call, and then falling off the face of the earth.  

tap tap tap….is this mic still on?

3 weeks. 

i don't think there has even been a 3 weeks in my life that have ever lasted so so long. 

wait, maybe the last 3 weeks of each of my pregnancies…aren't those the longest? 

you feel the hugest, and the slowest, but you are waiting…expectantly...geesh.

back on track again...

3 weeks.

i first looked into the month of april about 7 or 8 months ago when lonnie (http://www.lcimagesonline.com), called and asked me to cover a wedding for him.  

"why sure!"

 april is not a busy month typically…(i'll have to highlight it in my calendar for years to come now.  bc it TOTALLY is!)

committed to the wedding i was going to shoot in missouri, this other man that is very special to me (stephen e. wilson, http://greeleywesleyan.org), contacted a few months later to come shoot for their easter / holy week celebrations in greeley, colorado.  

"why sure!"

2 weeks straight with 2 ppl that i adore to the earth's ends??  AND i get to shoot?  sign me up!

and they did.

oh wait, i have 3 kids…who have talent shows, and baseball and soccer….in APRIL.

hmmmm…..

and oh yes, this mission on my heart that hasn't stopped trying to pound it's way out, it MAY have just been in the middle of a big explosion….

and then my mother in law (God bless her, i love her to pieces), she thought it would be great for all of us to make the trip to colorado, to visit her nephew that she loves and is so proud of, and our kids, hey!, they could see colorado too.

now, any mom out there will take note of what an undertaking this would be...

think laundry for one. :)

fortunately, i married a man who cooks every dinner, packs every lunch, and serves every breakfast to our kids.  he also keeps track of their schedules, and mine most of the time too.  the only thing he can't do, is a tight ponytail in our london's massive hair, and i'm sure it's only bc she won't let him try. 

my treasures in dubois would be just fine as i set out to travel...

i unfortunately forgot about my heart in it all. 

dang it, do you know how often my heart gets in the way of things?

i'll still thank you Jesus, but i can't feel or do something half way.  

it's all or nothing.

so while i shot...

a missouri wedding...

i also fell into the arms of my sweet brother and his wife who nurtured my every care…i so so needed that….

and then, there were health emergencies that we had to deal with...

here at home, and in colorado.  

not fun.

but, making it through them (another "thank you Jesus"), a week later, we arrived in greeley, colorado

i shot good friday at greeley weslyan

and saturday and sunday easter services

i had the opportunity to visit a real life ranch, and to photograph a true cowboy and his wife.

rocky mountains, clydesdale horses, a gourmet kitchen, and a married couple with so much wisdom that i wanted to sit at their feet for a day and soak in all they knew and had learned in life.

ever hear of audio adrenaline?

hey!  i got to shoot a concert that the church had with them too!  

http://audioa.com

i made precious tender memories with my husband, children and mother in law...

and through tears, exhaustion, learning, taking, giving and living, i learned that life isn't about controlling how it goes.  

it isn't about holding onto it...what you wish it could be, pray it to be, or want it to be…

it's about living it the way you are called to be.  

it's about learning from each moment…bad or good, fulfilling or fear filled…from each person you are blessed to meet, each smile that warms your heart, each spoken word that whispers right to your soul…

it's about believing in people…becoming vulnerable with people, trusting completely in our heavenly father, and living purely from the calling He places on and in your heart.

it's back to work today...

i've been trying to get back to work for the past 3 days! 

we came home to even more surprises and dilemmas to deal with.

my suitcases are just about half unpacked...

and by the way, i turned this mic on while still wearing my pajama bottoms...

but my heart is still

it's refocused...

exhausted but renewed..

it is home. 

xo,

j

Romans 4:20

The Message (MSG)

19-25 Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said. That’s why it is said, “Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right.” But it’s not just Abraham; it’s also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God.