it's more than a stomach bug - it's my heart

i have this thing that when i "dump" all of my heart's contents on a friend, i say that it's a "vomit text" or that i "vomited" all over them.  i brush their chest off , pretending to try to clean up my mess and apologize :). i know it's disgusting, but it's how i feel.  i throw up every bit of hurt and despair, and ailment, and poison that is inside of me, all over someone i love.  (makes you want to be related to me or be my friend huh?)

be prepared- this is a vomit post:

it's been a whirlwind of a week. 

i attended and shot at 3 different events. 

in addition, i had corporate shoots, family shoots, senior shoots, and meetings with clients.

i've been dealing with an online service that i have used since 2006, being down, and bringing a halt to my design work. 

my best friend's father is in the hospital suffering from a stroke. 

we found out this week, that my son has a torn meniscus.

my girls are in the play, "the christmas story" at our local theater.   practices….lines...

my children need to eat, and need help with homework. 

my mom has been dealing with issue after issue after issue with health and a building project.  

we lost a dear member of our community last week - an individual who was very important to people that i am hurting for and love. 

another dear friend has been ill, and searching for answers...

my body is beyond tired.

my soul is weary.

if you follow me on fb, then you know i have been not thinking straight, and have been downright dippy this past week. 

i currently have roughly 20 emails to answer, 8 voicemails, and 32 text messages.  

there is just not enough time in my day.  

there is just not enough of me. 

how i love to love on people, and to make them feel special. 

i can't love on people, i can't do anything being so empty. 

last year, charlie opened a division to our studio called, studio j.  the intent was to offer portrait services, similar to sears or target - simple pictures at a great price. 

he has stopped studio j, and i'm taking down the Facebook page of that, today. 

i have a joelle watt photography page, that i will also be removing. 

my personal page, is about my life.  my life is deeply connected to my business. 

therefore, i will keep my personal page, and have all my business shared on that pag

my kids help me, the people i shoot, the places i go, the stories i tell...

i need to streamline things for myself in order to try to get a handle, yes, a grip, on things. 

and what i am asking from you, is grace.  

i promise you i will return every phone call, message and text…but it is going to take me 2 days to do that without doing anything else.  i'm asking for prayers from you, and understanding as i hold on and try to regain some control of things. 

i apologize if i see you at walmart and walk right by you….i don't wear my glasses, and i'm in a zone lately that makes everything even more blurry than normal.  

and please, don't' lose faith in me as i fight out of this struggle.  please know my heart - how i love - how i want to help - what i strive to have others see. 

please continue to walk with me, as i strive to guard a few things in my life today:  

(the message) Proverbs 3: 21-26 

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life;
 don’t for a minute lose sight of them.
They’ll keep your soul alive and well,
    they’ll keep you fit and attractive.
You’ll travel safely,
    you’ll neither tire nor trip.
You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry,
    you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.
No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
    or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner,
Because God will be right there with you;
    he’ll keep you safe and sound.