i feel that people know my heart. i really feel that if you have seen my work, if you are my friend on Facebook, if you see the kind of pictures that i take, that you can see that i have a love for people...that my heart is tender and that i want to help others see the best in them, and to be an overcomer in life.
but what was brought to my attention lately, is that people don't know why i feel this way. people don't know why i feel, what i do, or what i've overcome myself, to bring me to this place of passion, and drive and empathy for people that makes what i do so unique.
truly, if we sit one on one, i will tell you anything.
i love to share what has broken my heart, and how i am stronger because of it.
i love to encourage you with how i have learned in my life to believe in my worth, to not take moments for granted, and to see beauty in realness and simplicity.
and you know, maybe i'm not as comfortable sharing it through social media because of the age that i am...i'm 39. i grew up more with passing notes and journals than i did with twitter and texting.
so yes, it does feel a little like i'm taking my clothes off in front of you. after all, it's the worldwide web!
it does make me wonder if sharing myself this way will be beneficial for you and for me, or if it will be a moment i will regret as i strip slowly but surely, revealing one layer at a time.
one night, out to dinner with life-long friends, we were comparing our perceptions of one another...it was light and fun with descriptions such as...
"i think of fun, and the life of the party with you."
"you are our encourager! you make us laugh all the time..."
and then, i decided to be the deep thinker of the group and spout off that my dear dear friend is the "onion" among us.
yes i did, i called her "the onion."
the laughing stopped as we lowered our pinot, and the crestfallen look she bestowed me with made me want to sink underneath my chair that very moment.
"an onion?....an ONION?" she asked!
"ummmm...YES! it's a compliment, i swear" i said!
"i think you are so full of stories that make you who you are...that people look at the outside of you, and just see beautiful you! but there is so much hid beneath each layer of YOU. we as your friends get to see and know those different layers, but others, they only get to see the beautiful....ummmmm....onion."
yes, it was a finer moment in our friendship.
a moment that we still bring up almost 7 years later...
but as a beautiful friend opened my eyes the other night, about how others see me, i realized that i may just be an onion too! which is totally ok if you aren't wanting others to understand why you are the way you are, and why you do what you do.
hmmmm....i do want others to understand my motives!
an onion i am.
but dear friends, i think i may be ready to strip for you...
just one layer at a time.